So I've started taking vitamins in order to feel better, but there's a problem. Do you have any idea how many vitamins you need to eat before you feel full?

Only two more weeks and this cursed semester ends. After that I have 5 of what are sure to be the most fantastic weeks I've ever had.

Dear school,

I hate you.

Sincerely,

Me

I just learned that Jay Cutler, the new starting QB for the Broncos, was born in Santa Claus, Indiana. What else is in Santa Claus, Indiana you might ask? Why, Holiday Foods of course! Oh, you were thinking of Holiday World? Well, not everyone has been to Holiday World, so I figured I'd go with the more obscure and choose the grocery store instead.

I'm back home in (believe it or not) warm and sunny Cleveland, Ohio. I had no problems on this entire trip, which leads me to believe that my house will shortly burn down due to an overheated Roomba.

It's 61 degrees here, which is warmer than Charlotte was when I left. This is fantastic. I predict that it will not be Winter here until I take my Summer tires off my car. Therefore, I am king of the weather. If it pleases me, I shall leave it to be Summer all year round. So sayeth me!

Welcome to the day after Thanksgiving in America. Here in the South, people pretend yesterday never even existed and hibernated until 3:00 AM this morning, when they all awoke in unison to go shopping. The lines at Kohl's were around the building at 5:00 AM. Most of the things that Wal-Mart was selling were gone by 5 minutes after 5:00 AM. How do I know this? Second hand, as I (being a smart northerner) blissfully stayed in my comfy bed until 9:00 AM. My mom was foolhardy enough to go out and brave the masses of humanity this morning. She wanted to buy some computer that was 50% off. They only had seven, and they were all gone by the time they got there.

My shopping consisted of going to Kohl's.com at 1:00 AM to get a lot of the bargains I wanted. I was able to get about 2/3 of the items I wanted, but not all of the specials were available online. I need to thank Lindsay for that little tidbit. Instead of going to the store at 5:00 AM and battling armies, I can just sit at home and get some of the same deals online. It worked fantastically.

Happy Thanksgiving! Make sure that you tell at least one turkey today that they taste delicious and did not die in vain. They died so that you could spend quality family time together watching football and falling asleep from all of the tryptophan.

I made it here in one piece. There was a lot of fog and a lot of rain in both Charlotte and Columbia, but other than delays and kids that liked to clap loudly on the plane while others were trying to sleep, there were no problems.

I arrived in Charlotte 15 minutes after my conection was supposed to have left, but they held it for me, which was nice. It was a little prop job that only held about 35 people. There was a surprising amount of room on it though. The plane as a Dash 8-300, and other than being loud because of the propellers, wasn't actually that bad. It's only a 25 minute flight from Charlotte to Columbia anyway.

Coming back, I'm just flying out of Charlotte. I'll be back to C-Town on Monday afternoon.

We (Lindsay and I) just got back from the Cavs game. I had obtained the company seats (C110 club level) for the game. It was blown wide open early on. The Cavs were up by 21. Then in the fourth quarter, the Cavs had let Memphis close it to a single point. The Cavs still won, but it's that lack of killer instinct that could haunt them in the playoffs.

Anyway, I'm off to South Carolina tomorrow for Thanksgiving. It's typically this time of the year that I have my flying adventures. The winds are high, the temperatures are cold, and there are millions of people traveling. Hopefully this year, the adventures are kept to an absolute minimum. I nearly died last year and I don't want to replicate that this year.

Happy Thanksgiving all. Be safe in your travels.

I can't recall ever being so beaten down by an exam as I've been tonight. I will be ecstatic if I can pull off a passing grade. Any passing grade.

I predict the average grade on this exam will be less than 50%. It was just ridiculous.

Hey, we're doing Java here. Now I expect you to remember how to create test suites to test all of the methods and classes that I also expect you to write. Yay! We did that once. Remember that? It wasn't in the book, but we talked about it for 20 minutes about 3 weeks ago. That will come in very handy on those questions that make up 70% of the exam. I am a good teacher. Hooray for me. I am not covered in feces.

- My professor

I just purchased an iRobot Roomba Discovery SE. Eric suggested that I ask for one for Christmas, which I thought was a great idea. Instead though, I just bought it myself because I couldn't wait any longer and a great deal came along (50% off.)

Hooray for robots. I, for one, welcome my floor cleaning robotic overlords!

Heading out shortly. Justin and Melissa should get in around 12:00 and then I'll show them the house for a bit and let them wind down from their rip before we begin again. Then we'll head to Steak-N-Shake for the traditional pre-trip/mid-trip/post-trip/pre-game/post-game meal. Afer that, we'll head to the west side to pick up Lindsay as she gets off from school and then we'll finally be headed to the Dowd Fortress of Splenditude.

We'll be in to Indy tonight around 9:30 and then heading to Purdue bright and early tomorrow. Maybe even early enough that we can buy something at Steve and Barry's that says Purdue Football on it. That would be a nice change.

Here's a quick rundown of what's been going down lately:

My brother had successful surgery to remove the pins from his foot and hand. He can now put some pressure on his foot, but isn't supposed to be walking yet.

My grandmother is going to have her biopsy scheduled, but I have no idea when the surgery will be.

I'm heading to Purdue this weekend with Lindsay, Justin, and Melissa to watch a victory against IU. Maybe I can bring back the old jokes like "Take your safety like a man!" or "Hey kid, wanna hear a joke? IU!"

It's 10:05 and school still sucks.

My companies stock was up $7 over the past two days at one point. Now it's only up $4.50, but still, that's a nice chunk of change. If it goes up another $3.50, then I'm selling everything I've got and maybe even some stuff that I don't have. Frankly, it's tempting to do that already. If I sold now though, I'd still be a little short of my goal. In an ideal world, our stock would split, and then I'd not be forced to sell everything. So here's to that. Please split and then go up $40. Or $400. Either one. Just split and skyrocket and do it quickly. Daddy needs a new pair of Ferrari's.

Is this what it feels like to be hit in the face with a shovel?

Son of a bitch!

I am in desperate need of caffeine. Or something. I've got this torture for another 30 minutes. I can't take it. I'm going crazy. This class is so useless!

Here's the breakdown:

Look at this slide. Oh wait. See this code here? This is wrong. Ignore that part.
Next slide. Fragilè. It must be Italian! Well, it could be anything in there. Oh! It's a lamp. What a great lamp.
Next slide. We should have an example. Here it is. Wait, I don't know why I did it that way.
Next slide. I like to wear womens underwear on my head.

Only one of those statements is not exactly what he said. Can you guess which one?

This guy needs to be sent to Guantanamo. I'm willing to talk! I give up! I'll tell you anything you want to know!

I'm very tired right now. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through class tonight without falling asleep. It's bad enough that I nearly fall asleep in it when I'm not tired at all... I will definitely need some kind of distraction to keep me going.

Tonight would be one of those perfect nights to go to bed at 6:00 PM. Call me a grandpa if you want, but that would be perfect.

So I met nearly all of the remainder of Lindsay's family and I have to say, all went well. I was mostly concerned aboutt he not so much younger brother, but I think in the end I really had nothing to worry about at all. I think it will be very easy to fit in with everyone. I've still yet to meet her younger sister, but that's the last of the immediate family. Rumor has it that she's coming to C-Town sometime before Christmas though, so after that I'll have met the whole fam. Yay for me. I am awesome!

Tonight we got here around 6:30 and ate dinner. We had authentic Maryland crab cakes -- and while I'm not much of a crab eater, these were quite good. Then we had some dessert, as if I needed more food. Afer dinner, we ended up playing poker and I finished in second to her mom. I got my money back, so not all was lost. We're coming back home tomorrow, but I'll be back out here after Christmas. At that time I'll stay a few days and get to see the mighty 4 way stop in downtown. I'm quite excited.

I feel like crap today. I don't know what the deal is. I took some NyQuil last night. I've sucked down some Tylenol this morning (hopefully the kind that has been recalled... metal makes it better.) I'm thinking about going home for the rest of the day. I can't really explain how I feel, it's just generally like crap.

I blame Ohio. Hey it's 70 degrees today! Oh, sorry. That was 3 minutes ago. Now it's 3. 3 degrees. Hope you bundled up and brought your snow shoes!

On a side note, I have a LOT of leaves in my yard. As in, I can't see my grass. At all. I just went home at lunch yesterday and mulched a bunch of them too. The rest I blew into a big pile. Well today, the pile is still there, but new leaves have returned to their home on my grass. I don't even want to this about my backyard. It's basically just one gigantic leaf collage. One day I'll hopefully have a leaf picking up party. Everyone is invited. BYOR (bring your own rake).

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I will be when this semester is over. I'm looking forward to entire days of nothing. I'm looking forward to going home after work and going to sleep at 6:00 PM if I want to. I honestly can't wait.

I don't even remember the last time I had multiple waking hours where I had nothing planned and I didn't need to do anything.

I know you'll be shocked, but I'm fairly certain that I hate school.

What's even worse is that I have 3 classes left and they still say that one of them is a prerequisite. What that means is that I can either go 4 days a week next semester... Monday and Wednesday mornings and Tuesday and Thursday nights (ultra-convenient) or that I can only take 1 class on Tuesdays from 6:00 - 9:00 PM. I'll probably end up doing that, just because the other schedule would be so ridiculous.

Strike my previous statement. I definitely hate school.

The next month is going to be a busy one. I'm heading to Maryland this weekend, Purdue next weekend, and South Carolina the weekend after that.

This weekend I get to pull a Ben Stiller and meet the parents. I've already met her Mom, but this weekend I'll meet her Dad for the first time.

Next weekend I'll watch as Purdue loses to IU. I keep telling myself that I want to go to games that I think will be wins, and then Purdue either loses or struggles mightily in the game.

Then over Thanksgiving weekend, it's all the fried turkey you can get. I can't wait.

Shoot Bird with Seasoning Pellets! The Bird you just shot is ready to Cook

Why didn't I think of this? A company has invented a gun shot that actually seasons the bird while it kills it. Just what I've always wanted. I often say to myself, "Self, I wish I had the time to properly season this bird that I've just killed."

Well, now I do.

Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth!

Hooray for technology!

Allow me to do my part to get the word out.

Boiled Sports has now launched, amongst much fan fare.

I am but a humble contributor there, but I think that it does have potential.

And now for a momentary sports update:

The Browns actually played well enough to lose yesterday. Way to go guys! That's a big improvement from the norm, when the Browns play well enough to be called cheerleaders.

The Cavs go to San Antonio and beat the Fighting Duncans and then proceed to go to Charlotte and lose. That doesn't make sense. Why would Chewbacca live on Endor? If that doesn't make any sense, which I'm fairly certain is the case, feel free to check out the footnote below.

Guillermo Mota was banished for 50 games for steroids. My only question is this... why did he wait so long? It would appear that he waited until he was traded to New York before he started using them. He was certainly awful enough with the Indians. Sure could've used them then. What's the deal?

Purdue won a game that I was fairly certain they would lose. It's encouraging and discouraging at the same time. If they can pull out these last 3 games, they'll likely go to a good bowl game and get demolished. Taking each game individually, I think they're all winnable. I don't expect them to win them all, but they could. If that happened, they would be the worst 9 win team in history. It would be like watching Notre Dame in a BCS game.


Footnote:

Chewbacca Defense


Johnnie Cochran: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote "Stinky Britches" ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Gerald Broflovski: Dammit!
Chef: What?
Gerald: He's using the Chewbacca Defense!
Cochran: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, [approaches and softens] does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

My grandmother's PET scan results came back this week. They were negative for any signs of cancer. The doctors want to do another biopsy to verify that the cancer has been removed before they commit to saying she's in remission. The biopsy is in about 2 weeks. If that comes back clean, she'll be a cancer survivor and in remission hopefully for the rest of her life.

I used to write reviews of independent music, but I stopped about a year ago. I just didn't have the time necessary to keep it up. Anyway... today I got an email from one of the bands I reviewed (KittyViolet). They thanked me for the words, etc, etc. It's cool to know that people are reading my stuff, even if it is a year after the fact.

It's Justin's birthday and he'll cry if he wants to, cry if he wants to, cry if he wants to. You would cry too if you were as old as him.

We've got Deloitte in here SOX auditing us today. Yay! I can't tell you how exciting it is. We got our typical 18 hours notice that they'll be here for the next week. We used to have KPMG but we fired them as our auditors. Why we did that I'm not completely sure. It probably had something to do with their costs and how they liked to sit around and not do anything. The only problem with that is that we had finally gotten KPMG trained so that they understood what it is that we do here and how our processes work. Now we're back to hand-holding for a few audits, which sucks.

Thankfully I have minimal interaction with the auditors, but it's still a stressful event for the department.

I wonder how many billions of dollars the Sarbanes-Oxley act has cost U.S. businesses... all because of a single solitary event. I love it when politicians over-react. It's like they feel they've got to do SOMETHING or else people will think they don't care. Well guess what? The people forget EVERYTHING as soon as it's not on TV anymore. Take a step back and examine the situation rationally for once. Not every single company out there is trying to screw the investors. Is some oversight good? Certainly. Is this complete overkill? Absolutely.