Sunday, November 30, 2003

What kind of a sign is it when Purdue beats Duke in the shootout? Is it a good sign, or is it a typical sign? I remember a few years back when Purdue beat Arizona (who was number 1 at the time.) If I remember crrectly that was the year they went on to the Sweet 16 where they lost to Wisconsin. Does this victory mean that they will contend for the Big 10 title, or is it mearly another upset over an over-confident team that never really builds into anything else?

Friday, November 28, 2003

8 hours.

Shopping for 8 hours.



I hate shopping.

Is it wrong to just give ziplock bags of cash for Christmas? Does that take some of the fun out of it?

Women in South Carolina are generally pretty hot though I must say. Maybe it's because they don't have to completely cover every inch of skin for fear of frostbite.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

On the plane from Philly to Columbia, I think the woman next to me was trying to have a contest with herself to see how fast (and loud) she could possibly turn the page of her dozen newspapers. Maybe she was trying to tear it in half the whole time. Who knows. It was pretty ridiculous to watch her though. It was as if as soon as she finished one page she needed to remove it from her sight immediately or she would die.

I wanted to punch her in the face. Many many times.

Monday, November 24, 2003

*** Turn on Harry Carey voice ***

How about that! It was 68 degrees here yesterday, and today, with no exaggeration, it snowed. Snow.

*** Turn on Canadian Harry Carey voice ***

Yesterday I was oot and aboot in a boot with shorts on and today it snowed. Ay.

*** Turn on Southern Harry Carey voice ***

What's up y'all? Tomorrow I will be in South Carolina. Y'all'll have to look for me to be back in the Arctic Circle. Woo! Nascar!
Yet another exciting weekend in the NFL. It's like watching paint dry.

The Browns are not good, and neither are 50% of the other teams out there. Put two of those together, like the Browns and Steelers, and you have tremendous offense approaching 100 yards per team at half time.

Throw in 5 turnovers, and it's like watching a pee-wee football game. Half a yard and a cloud of dust.

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Ding, dong, Ohio State is dead.

Too bad it took the whole season before it was certain.

The sadistic part of me would have really liked to have seen Oklahoma beat OSU about 388 to 3. Oh how happy I would have been!
The crappy Luckeyes are probably going to win today, and if they do then I will agree that they have earned a trip to be beaten by Oklahoma. Maybe Michigan learned a lesson from Purdue last week. Have the QB run the ball every once in a while! It does wonders.

Friday, November 21, 2003

I need something along the lines of the movie Multiplicity. I need 10 duplicates. Then I can do what I want to do, and what I need to do.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Did you guys see this?

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A Columbus judge says he'll let an inmate stay in jail instead of moving him to prison right away so he can see the Ohio State-Michigan game on TV this Saturday.

Jeff Renne told Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Richard Sheward yesterday that he would plead guilty as long as he could stay in the county jail through the weekend. Inmates at the jail can watch TV, but it's off-limits at the Orient reception center, where they are held before they're moved to one of the state's prisons.

Renne was charged with forgery. He says if the Buckeyes win on Saturday, he'll still be "on cloud nine" despite being in prison.

Judge Sheward says he granted Renne's request because it's Michigan week and he thought he should do his part for the Buckeyes.

Uh.... Judge. How about this.... he's a CRIMINAL. SEND HIM TO PRISON. I guess in Columbus, during Michigan week I can just do whatever I please.

ME: Oh officer, I thought the speed limit was 125 MPH. It IS Michigan week after all. Why don't you do your part for the Buckeyes.

OFFICER: Oh OK. Free to go.

What an ass.
What's going on with wide receivers in the NFL now? First Kevin Johnson, a 5 year starter, is just cut and then a record 16 NFL teams fight for him on waivers. Now Keyshawn Johnson, an 8 year starter has been de-activiated for the season. He'll either be cut or traded before the season is over, even though they'll take a cap hit for doing so.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

I took down the panoramic of Ross-Ade, but if anyone wants the small one or the REALLY big one, then just email me and I'll send it to you.
If Purdue beats IU next week, it appears they are locked in to the Outback Bowl in Tampa. The only two questions after that are who is going, and how are we getting there? I say Winnebago.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Once upon a time I predicted the Browns would finish 6-10 this year. I heard various comments ranging from "You are an idiot." to "You are the Norse god of thunder."

It now appears that the Browns will be lucky to get to 6-10. They just cut Kevin Johnson and now William Green has been suspended for 4 games.

On a non-related NFL note, the friggin Cavs are frustrating to watch again. When they play together, I think they have the chance to be very good. Maybe as the season goes on they'll understand how to run a cohesive offense. I hope so.

I was watching the Warriors - Pistons game last night and I thought I recognized number 35 for the Warriors. It turned out it was Brian Cardinal. They were calling him the Janitor last night, because he was cleaning up all the loose balls. They also said that he has become the 2nd leading scorer on Golden State, after being an unsigned invite to camp. I liked Cardinal when he was at Purdue and I like his style now. Sure, there's an elbow here or there, but he gives it his all on every play. The rest of the pampered NBA can learn a lesson from that.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Did you guys see that the spread in the Oklahoma - Baylor game is currently at 52.5 points? 52.5!

That's unbelievable. What's even more unbelievable is that they may actually cover it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Uh.... WHAT!!!! The freaking Browns just released Kevin Johnson. What the hell are they thinking? WHAT THE FREAK!

He's only the best damn receiver they've got, what's the point in keeping him. Oh hey, let's just cut him. Sounds good to me. What the damn it ass bag crap face ass bitch.
Where have I been? I don't know.

It's a mystery.

Perhaps you know.

Friday, November 7, 2003

There's a new movie out... perhaps you've heard of it. It's called "Hey, let's throw out everything from the previous movie and just make up our own world again."

Movie 1: No mention of the Architect
Movie 2: The Architect is the most important being in existence
Movie 3: Who is this Architect? I think he's just an idiot

Movie 1: Neo is The One
Movie 2: Neo is the seventh The One
Movie 3: Forget what we said back there, he's really just a person, not really The One, or even the seventh The One.

Whoopee. Let's just kill everyone. Hooray.

Thursday, November 6, 2003

The next Mario Kart comes out in slightly more than a week. It's looking pretty fun. I remember the hours and hours and days and years spent playing the original one, so I'm looking forward to this one.

The name's Tang.

Pootie Tang.

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Is it wrong that I think Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are hot now?

Monday, November 3, 2003

You'll go off to college. You'll meet a nice girl. She'll make you dinner. She'll give you diarrhea.

Sunday, November 2, 2003

I like Alias.

I like Jennifer Garner.

Jennifer Garner wants to have many of my babies.

One of the above statements could potentially be false.

You'll never know which one though.

Saturday, November 1, 2003

To Justin,

Happy Birthday. I hope you like your new Vladimir Guerrero. I originally got you a Manny Ramirez, but I had to take it back because it was defective.

-Shmeorge Leinbrenner
I can't understand how one team can get so many horrible calls in its favor. Third and 3, 2 minutes left in the game, Ohio State down by 6. The pass is OBVIOUSLY dropped. It is clear as day. The ball hits the ground. The announcers both see it and NONE of the officials do. Or rather, the officials probably do see it and just don't feel like calling it. Now I understand what Joe Paterno's problem is with Big 10 officials. Penn State got jobbed.
Did anyone go outside and check out the Northern Lights? With all the massive solar flares and coronal mass ejections, I'm told they were awesome... reds and greens, with bolts of white throughout. I didn't see them myself, basically because NASA maps showed they wouldn't be visible where I am, but apparently they were. Poop.