I need suggestions for the next car I should buy.

I like the Nismo Altima SE-R, but with the Nismo parts it costs about $4000 more than my G35. Plus, it has 43 less horsepower than the new G's and is FWD.

The Maxima used to be sporty, but now it's just soft.

I like the Acura TSX, but it's vastly underpowered in my opinion.

I don't want to ever buy a BMW.

There isn't much in the way of American cars that interest me. Chrysler has some interesting things coming out, but they aren't really my style. The GTO is blah. I can't even come close to fitting comfortably in a Corvette (not that it would be practical here in the Arctic circle.)

Toyota and Lexus styling are about as bland as oatmeal covered in flavor-away to make sure it was extra dull.

I like the new Mazda styling but even the RX8 doesn't interest me all that much.

The only Volkswagen I think is decent is the R32 VR6 and they haven't made that for two years.

I like the Audi S4, but don't think a V8 is prudent with premium gas requiring weekly plasma donations.

So there you have it, I've shot down everything and now need suggestions.

I saw Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy and Napoleon Dynamite today.

The Guide was pretty good, but was slow for about a 20 minute stretch.

Napoleon was just odd. I caught you a delicious bass. What girl wouldn't love to hear that? I did like Pedro's protection force though.

My new Gran Turismo 4 setup should be arriving soon. I bought the Driving Force Pro force feedback wheel and pedals and the Xlerator stand for it.

My living room will be just like the arcade.

Wheeeeee.

Beginning in 2006, Notre Dame will earn an automatic BCS berth with a top eight ranking in the final standings, Weiberg said. Also, under a new arrangement, Notre Dame is now guaranteed BCS money every season -- even when they don't play in a game.


Yet another reason to hate the BCS.

I haven't heard about how great Brandon Kirsch looked running an offense while trying not to get tagged.

For people in the know, who are the starters at skill positions?

Did they cut Kyle Smith yet? I haven't forgiven him for dropping that interception against Wisconsin yet.

Where's Joey Harris when you need him?

I got home from school tonight and there was a wasp looking me right in the face. It just snowed yesterday and today there's a freaking wasp in my house.

Hello Spring? Are you there?

It went from Winter to Summer apparently.

Wasps don't live in the Winter, so what the heck is it doing in my house? Partying? Well guess what, go party somewhere else. Your kind aren't welcome here.

I can only take so much Mel Kiper Jr. every year, and I'm already over the limit for this year with the NFL draft still being 2 hours away.

Terrific. We're expected to get 5 inches of snow tomorrow.

Yay.

Welcome to Cleveland, where it snows year round!

As the new GM of the Cleveland Cavaliers I am pleased to announce that we have released the following players:

DeSagana Diop, Lucious Harris, Jeff McInnis, Dajuan Wagner, Jiri Welsch, Scott Williams



It is my hope that we can acquire the following players through the draft and free agency:

Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, Larry Nance, Craig Ehlo, and Terrell Brandon.


If anyone knows how to contact those players, please refer them to me.

19 down to 12 up.

Unbelievable.

32 - 8 in the 3rd quarter.

Let's go Celtics! Wake up!

The Cavs just beat the Celtics. Now the Cavs MUST win tomorrow and the Celtics MUST win tomorrow.

If that happens, the Cavs go to the playoffs.

It won't happen however, since the freaking Nets are playing like 18 time defending champions.

Sports bring at least 80% more agony than they do enjoyment. Thus, I hate sports.

Especially Cleveland sports.

And don't forget Purdue sports.

The Cavs are FINALLY playing with a sense of urgency. Too bad it's too late.

They are presently outside looking in on a playoff spot.

I don't see them making it, especially with the way the Nets are currently playing.

Remember that song in the beginning of Major League? Well I re-wrote it be more approriate. I has seemed to fall into ranting mode, but that's what I'm best at.

There's a lottery pick rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to Gund Arena

There's a poor draft rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to Browns Stadium

There's a sorry batter flailing
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to Jacobs Field

What the hell is wrong with you people.
Screw you and your freaking curses.
You want a curse? Well curse this!

Cleveland, city of curses, city of suck asses
Cleveland, city of I hate all sports
Cleveland, even now I can remember
When a guy named LeBron
Played there and not New York

I wonder what the conversation was like between soccer fans when they decided it would be a good idea to bring flares in to a match and throw them at players...

Maybe it went something like this.


Idtiot 1: Hey.

Idiot 2: I agree. That's perfectly sensible.

Idiot 1: What?

Idiot 2: Exactly. We won't light them UNTIL we're inside.

Idiot 1: What?

Idiot 2: It's settled then. I'll bring 20 and you bring 20.



Twenty minutes later...


Idiot 2 starts throwing flares.

Idiot 3: Hey look at that guy. He's throwing flares! It's a good thing that I brought my flares too. I want to throw them at the goalie!

Idiot cop: Oh those blokes. Look at the shenanigans they're pulling again. Crazy kids. They're all out of flares again. Here ya go chaps. Take some of mine.

I've got to say... RFK doesn't look bad at all for a converted football stadium. I might even go so far as to say that it looks better than some strictly baseball parks. Fenway comes to mind.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. RFK is a basic approximation of Busch in my opinion.

The United Nations is a freaking joke. Today they approved a treaty making it illegal for individuals to possess nuclear weapons. It's also illegal to threaten to use those weapons.

Wow. That's really going to make the world a safer place. Now those terrorists will really think twice before they purchase those nuclear weapons. Before it wasn't illegal, but now it is. Bin Laden is going to have to find something else now. He doesn't want to break that law.

Give me a break.

The Cavs have won two games in a row, including one on the road.

It's a Festivus miracle!

And with the number 3 pick in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select... some piece of crap who will suck and be out of the league in 4 years.

I will bet anyone $10 that they draft a quarterback with the first pick.

Also, I will bet anyone $1000 that the quarterback they draft will suck.

Lastly, I will bet anyone $10000 that I hate the Browns.

Strike one. A personal best.

For once I'm actually pitching, and not just belly-itching.

Baseball fever. Contract it.

Here's are the 5 steps that I plan to do when the Cavs announce me as their general manager:


1. Announce to the entire world that I hate Phil Jackson and that Phil Jackson can bite me if he thinks he's ever going to coach this team.

2. Trade LeBron James. Think of it... his stock is never going to be higher. I bet we could get a good solid second round pick for him.

3. Play all the remaining games with only 4 players on the court. It worked in Hoosiers.

4. Post a note to all the good shooters in the league that we don't want any of what they're selling. We're set in that department. Who needs to shoot better than 9.6% as a team anyway?

5. Make sure we don't re-sign Z this summer, because Jim Paxson drafted DeSagana Diop as the future of the franchise. Last year he had career highs! He's on the way up. 2.3 points per game last year, maybe he'll get a solid 2.4 next year.


There you have it. The franchise is saved!

I know the notice is a bit short, but I'm looking into going to Thunder Over Louisville. It's a combined air show / fireworks display (apparently the biggest in the country).

It is Saturday April 23rd. If anyone has any interest in going, let me know ASAP.

Big Fred, coming through in the clutch.

The baseball trip is all set, and tickets are purchased.

July 22nd in Kansas City.
July 23rd in St Louis.
July 24th in Cincinnati.

Watching the Yankees - Red Sox game. They show a shot of Donald Trump. "Hey, there's the Donald." Then they widen the shot to inclue Regis Philbin. "Donald and Regis. Wonder what they're talking about. I love Regis." They widen the shot further to include Bill O'Reilly. Nothing. You can hear crickets chirping. They don't speak again until he's out of the shot.

Poor Bill.

I'm pretty sure that it's April now. I don't think you're supposed to get 12 inches of snow in April.

Ohio thinks differently.

If I had to guess, I would say that the next pope will be from Spain.

We'll see in the next few days if I'm right.

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Cavs suck.