Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Two things: The Angels - Yankees game had better make it through 5. Glaus has a HR and 2 RBI, but it's raining in 4.

Next, I really like the new crew for Baseball Tonight. John Kruk is infinitely better than idiot Bobby Valentine. He isn't exactly the most insightful, but Kruk says what everyone else is thinking and doesn't say. I also like the way that Gammons is like Kruks teacher and has that reprimanding look and tone all the time. I think the banter is great.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Todays page is brought to you by the ever hilarious Ignignokt and Err (and a preview of SpaceCatraz.)





1. Volkwagen GTI VR6 (4 for 4)
2. Nissan Maxima SE (3 for 4, not in price range)
3. Ford Contour SVT (4 for 4, reliability concerns)
4. Honda Prelude (2 for 4, no V6, no leather)
5. Honda Civic Si (2 for 4, no V6, no leather)


That is the rank, following the necessary specifications (manual, V6, leather, price). If I find out that a Honda Civic Si has been purchased, an enforcer will be sent.

Sunday, May 9, 2004

I'm watching the Indians - Orioles game on Sunday. Mike Hegan (former major league cather, and now announcer for the Indians) makes the comment "Omar offers at the off-speed pitch." It really didn't look like an off-speed pitch to me, so I looked at the pitch speed in the upper right hand corner of the screen. It read 98 MPH. That's one heck of an off-speed pitch. Jorge Julio's fastball must be somewhere between 110-120 MPH.

Saturday, May 8, 2004

Another case of some brilliant Californians... There are what scientists call a swarm of sharks just off the coast of some city in California. So what do the residents do? They all get in kayaks and go out to look at the swarm.

Great.

Friday, May 7, 2004

Like someone once said... I am the smartest man in America.

Even though MLB will remove the logos from the bases, I don't think they have totally killed the deal. Maybe every stadium will be covered in spider silk for that weekend or you get a free super-power inducing spider with every ticket purchase or something like that. It is somewhat encouraging that MLB was trying to think outside of the box, but they picked a stupid way to do it.

If they really want to try something great, how about making people pitch to Barry Bonds so my teams OPS doesn't keep dropping.

Wednesday, May 5, 2004

So MLB has accepted a proposal from Sony to put Spider-Man 2 ads on all the bases the weekend that the movie opens... I don't buy. All that has happened here is that Sony completely duped MLB into millions and millions of dollars of free advertising. By accepting this, news agencies (like ESPN) are now running the story. It won't be long before national news coverage gives the story 5 minute chunks of time around the country, and possibly the world. What does this mean? It means there will be a huge backlash among fans and MLB will end up cancelling the agreement. What does Sony lose when this happens? Nothing. They just managed to pay nothing for tons and tons of free airtime. Every sports fan is going to be talking about this plan now, and in the end, when the ads get cancelled, it will have cost Sony zip.

Tuesday, May 4, 2004

I had a dream last night. Not weirder than any other dream I've had. I just happened to write this one down.


Places in the dream
Cleveland
Pittsburgh
Chicago
Ft. Worth
Dallas
Holden House in Pennsylvania (which by the way doesn't exist)

People in the dream
Jay Leno - cutting up onions (because he is my cook?)
Hugh Hefner - Driving Fred Sanford's truck
Pamela Anderson - passenger in Fred Sanford's truck
Richard Prior - I either am Richard Prior or look like Richard Prior. He is being chased by the cops or looked for by the cops at the Dallas airport
Alvin and the Chipmunks - I ate breakfast with them at a Waffle House


And now.... the dream
I was supposed to fly to Ft. Worth to meet my brother, but apparently I just went to the airport and got on the very first plane I could find. My original ticket was from Cleveland to Ft. Worth, leaving at 2:58 PM and arriving in Ft. Worth at 1:58 PM. Instead I arrived in Pittsburgh with my mom and bought a house, the Holden House. It was huge, had about 50 rooms and I remember the door buzzer went through a subwoofer, because I couldn't hear the buzzer so I turned up the bass and then I could hear it. There were also a lot of doors to the outside that were literally right next to each other. When I went into the kitchen I could see Jay Leno outside the window cutting up onions, so I can only assume that he was either my cook or my gardener.

From there I magically ended up back on an airplane to Chicago. I remember the captain saying "2 hours down and 6 hours to go" just as I was waking up. That didn't sound right, so that's when I looked at my ticket. I asked the guy next to me what time it was and all he said was "it's 55 after." I informed him how that was not particularly helpful. The next thing I know I was taking back off in Chicago, but not from the airport. The plane was getting onto the highway and going around a pretty sharp right turn. The pilot just lifted off and banked to the right. There were some really big power lines over there, like 500 feet tall. I was wondering if we were going to fly into them, but the pilot just kept banking and turning to the right. Eventually we were upside down - in a regular passenger jet. My ex girlfriend apparently walked onto the plane as we were in the air and sat down in the back. At this point it looked more like a flying bus than an airplane. I didn't want to talk to her so I turned around and pretended I didn't see her.

We land in Dallas and my mom is there again. We go out to breakfast at Waffle House and sit with Alvin and the Chipmunks. Meatwad might also be there but I'm not sure. From there we go to what I think is my house, the Holden House in Pennsylvania, except we're still in Dallas. Hugh Hefner and Pamela Anderson drive up in Fred Sanford's truck. It's really front loaded, so they park and go into the house. I start to unload it, but all I grab is a sleeping bag, a chair, and some cardboard tube box. My mom takes the sleeping bag and says something about how heavy it is. After that I tell her that I have to go to the airport because I'm late for my flight, so she drives me there in some blue van. Once we get there, I realize that it's not safe because the cops are there looking for Richard Prior. I get a scared feeling, but I'm not sure if it's because I am Richard Prior or if I just look like him, but I decide that I can't risk flying to Ft. Worth from Dallas because I feel like the cops are looking for me. Then I realize that it's only a 35 minute drive to Ft. Worth, and that's when I leave.


Monday, May 3, 2004

I was watching Pat Tillman's memorial service on ESPN tonight, and I thought one of the Navy Seals said something very insightful. He said "Pat Tillman, 1976 - 2004. That dash is a life. How do you spend your dash?"

Saturday, May 1, 2004

I saw A Guy Thing tonight. It gets a solid rating of 5. Would watch if it was on TV or someone else rented it

There were some definite laughing out loud moments, but there were also a few slow points. It was better than I expected. It also had Selma Blair at her hottest going for it.