Is it too early to start looking for a new car? My current vehicle is nearing the ripe old age of 50 weeks. It may be time to put it out to pasture.

Mike Piazza got married today... to the elephant woman.



That has got to be the WORST picture that she has ever taken. I don't know what she normally looks like, but since she was on Baywatch, I'm hoping it's better than that.

I have finished my taxes preliminarily. I'm still waiting on capital gains sheets. Hopefully that number comes out to be less than $2181.47 or I'm screwed.

I'm assuming now that it will not, which means I will owe Ohio and the Feds many many more dollars. Again.

I can't imagine what my taxes would be if G-Dub wasn't in there. Someone out there in the land of make believe apparently considers me to be rich beyond my wildest imagination. Look at my gold statues. Behold my many many Bentleys. I am living in a fairy tale.

I'm rich.

I'm rich, beyotch.

Why am I watching womens tennis? Two words: Serena and Sharapova.

I put my stocks up for a limited sell today. I expected the stock to take about a month to get to my price. Nope, none of that. It hit it today, so apparently I have now sold my stocks.

The Cavs have the talent to be a contender, but not the proper mindset yet. Tonight when I went to class they were up by 15. When I got out of class they were down by 8. That should never happen. For some reason they aren't able to sustain a big lead after half time. They were up by 10 at half time and ended up losing by 9. Good teams don't give up 19 point swings in the second half. I don't know what's going on during the half time speech, but this isn't the first or second time this has happened this season.

There is a group in Spokane Washington that is trying to create a "gay district." Can you imagine the outrage if Spokane was trying to create a "Republican district" or, in what would surely be the worst thing in the history of civilization to the media... what if they created a "Christian-only district?" There would be freaking riots in the streets and people would be clamoring for the impeachment of the President. Los Angeles would erupt into a giant ball of fire spontaneously. People in Detroit would be looting their own houses. Oh, the humanity.

Give me a break. I'll let you create a "gay district" when the "NRA district" that I create right next to it is allowed to randomly spray you with gun fire.

Predicitions:

New England - 20
Pittsburgh - 17


Philadelphia - 16
Atlanta - 10

NBA RULES

Section VIII-Pivot
a. A pivot takes place when a player, who is holding the ball, steps once or more than once in any direction with the same foot, with the other foot (pivot foot) in contact with the floor.
b. If the player wishes to dribble after a pivot, the ball must be out of his hand before the pivot foot is raised off the floor. If the player raises his pivot off the floor, he must pass or attempt a field goal. If he fails to follow these guidelines, he has committed a traveling violation.
Section IX-Traveling
Traveling is progressing in any direction while in possession of the ball, which is in excess of prescribed limits as noted in Rule 4-Section VIII and Rule 10- Section XIV.


It would be nice if the NBA refs actually knew the rules. I can't tell you how many times I've seen LeBron James take FOUR steps on his way to a dunk. It's ridiculous, and that guy's on my favorite team, so you know it must really be out of hand.

There's a pretty cool story about Gene Keady over at a Iowa Hawkeyes web site. You can check it out here.

My predictions for the NFL draft are as follows:

1. The Browns will draft a quarterback with their first round pick.
2. The Browns are freaking mornic idiots who know nothing about football.
3. What the hell is wrong with the freaking Browns.
4. Son of a bitch.

When did Matt James start coaching the Portland Trailblazers?

Chrysler Firepower. In my opinion, that's the car of the Detroit Auto Show. Even though it's a V-10, it's far more practical than the ME 4-12, which I would have loved to own, but not for the $500,000 price tag. Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt that way, because only a handful of people signed up to buy one.

Todays most ridiculous item.... Darth Tater.

So I was only 2 for 4 this week. I did get both games in the AFC right...

I thought the Vikings would band together again though and beat the Eagles. The didn't even come close to banding together and they played like crap.

I thought the Rams were on their way to being the Rams of old. Once again I was wrong.

I thought the Steelers would play a close game with the Jets, and they did. The problem is that they played the Jets so close that the Jets should have won.

I also had the opportunity to make a large double or nothing bet with a co-worker on the Patriots - Colts game. I was confident that the Patriots would win and he was positive that the Colts were going to win. Now I wish I had made the bet.

School starts up again this Tuesday. Whoopty do. I have classes 4 nights a week. Great.

My self-imposed prison is never ending.

Sleep.

It's not too late to hop on the Anderson Varejao bandwagon. I'm on it for sure. I only hope that they don't blow it by trading him and Aleksandar Pavlovic for Michael Redd. Yeah I'd like to get Redd, but they can sign him as a free agent next year.

Ad-Aware, SpyBot Search & Destroy, SpySweeper, and Hijack This!

If you don't know what those are, I suggest you get familiar with them quickly.

Just a heads up from your friendly neighborhood developer.

Why is everyone so upset about the Randy Moonesota Moss incident? What's the big deal? He FAKE mooned people? Who cares? It's supposed to be funny. Step off of your political correctness platform for a while. If you had listened to Joe Buck yesterday you would think he would have shot Brett Favre's dog in the celebration.

"Oh the humanity! Oh I can't believe it! That's despicable! Oh send your kids to their room and wash their eyes out with soap!"

FAKE. MOON. FUNNY.

Randy your buttocks are so small and square, they hardly qualify as a moon.

Yay Mets! Go right ahead and spend $170 million / year and win your 80 games again. Great!

Since my aim is to provide you with a little more insight into my psychoses every day, here is my TiVo season pass list (in alphabetical order):

Alias
American Chopper
Aqua Teen Hungerforce
Around the Horn
Bernie Mac Show, The
Brak Show, The
Car and Driver Television
Chappelle's Show
Cooks Tour
Huff
Motor Trend Television
Pardon the Interruption
Pimp My Ride
Purdue & Sports/Football
Quintuplets
Rides
Simpsons, The
Whose Line Is It Anyway?


I have it set to only record new episodes, so the only thing I really get on a regular basis is ATH and PTI.

Once again a player makes claims that he loves a particular city. He loves the team, loves the fans, and really wants to stay there. Then that player chooses not to stay there. Why? Because they don't actually care about anything other than money. Money is ALWAYS the reason why a player stays or goes.

The newest proof... Carlos Beltran. Remember how much he loved Houston? Remember how he loved seeing all the "Keep Carlos" fliers around town? Remember how much his wife loved it there? Well, obviously he didn't love it enough as the $105 million contract offer was apparently an insult to him.

I saw I, Robot tonight. It gets a whopping 5/10 on my scale... 5. Would watch if it was on TV or someone else rented it.

Will Smith acted like he had botox injections in his face and even Bridget Moynahan was displaying none of her typical top ten looks.

The movie started off slow, then got a little slower, and then around half way through it, when I started wondering if I should continue the agony, it got slightly more interesting. By the end, the robot Sonny was the most likable character, and he's the one who threw the doctor out the window.

The thing holding it all together was the original story by P.K. Dick... "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" The concept is interesting, but the execution in this movie was less so.

The Alias premiere is on in about 10 minutes, and it had better be good. Jennifer Garner's hotness can only carry the show for five more seasons. Six at the most. Season 1 was great. Season 2 was pretty good. Season 3 was crap. That's a bad trend.

That said... bring on the hotness. With red hair. And a plaid skirt.

USC is presently destroying Oklahoma. I was watching something else on TiVo and just came back to the game to see it was 35-10. I thought the game had to be almost over, and then I saw it was still the 2nd freaking quarter.

At this pace USC is going to win 800-20. There are only two conclusions you can draw from this. Either USC is incredibly awesome, or OU chokes in big games. Based on last years performance, I'm leaning towards OU choking. Specifically Jason White. How is that guy any good? If you put any pressure on him whatsoever, he sucks. Remember the Kansas State game last year? Remember LSU? Any team with a very good front 4 kills the guy. If he gets drafted at all it will be a miracle in my opinion.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

That's possibly the worst sports franchise name I've ever heard. That's even worse than the Anaheim Mighty Ducks.

Why didn't they just go all out?

The Milky Way Earth Western Hemisphere North America United States California Orange County Los Angeles Metroplex Anaheim Angels.

That has a nice ring to it.

Happy New Year everyone. My resolution for this year is to give you the hard hitting investigative posts you've come to know and love.

Currently there are two stupid things battling it out to see which is the king of stupid.

On one hand, steel wheels with hub caps look stupid and steel wheels with no hub caps look even more stupid. On the same hand, either of these variations look stupid on my car, especially when they are downsized wheels.

On the other hand, it would cost $1000 to buy alloy wheels and tires in the proper size. This idea is stupid because the winter salt and crappy roads will destroy the rims, but the car will look nice.

The terrible looking cost effective method is currently battling the good looking impractical expensive method.

Who will win? Probably the cost effective method. Who will be happy about that? Not me.