Random perspectives from Cleveland

Since I was threatened with physical violence if I didn't post this, I am posting it.

We're not ND
Aaron Purduetik


I want to talk about the game. I want to rehash an excellent game plan, stellar play of an unsung defense, and yet another nearly flawless performance at quarterback. I want to think about the what "will-be's" this season. But, it’ll take too long, so I’ll just talk about the day.

The trip to South Bend was a valuable learning experience. It made me thoroughly appreciate being a Boiler.

The countless strip clubs should have been my first clue that something was amiss. We took the first exit that said Notre Dame, anticipating the sight of the stadium ready to accommodate screaming Boiler fans. Instead, we found ...factories & strip clubs. For several miles we drove on a four-lane road meandering through strip club upon strip club.

Thanks to backed-up traffic, we had several hours to appreciate the sites.
Finally we made it to campus ("I thought I'd seen ugly buildings before — but now I realize I was wrong," said my roommate) and into the stadium.

But the reasons to count my blessings had just begun. Anytime there are more men in kilts than men in football helmets, well, there's something inherently wrong. You may think I'm kidding. But I'm dead serious.

And then there were the “cheerleaders” (if you can call them that). None of which looked like they could make Purdue’s alternate-squad…but what they didn’t have in ability was forgotten because you couldn’t hear them and could hardly see them. But they did have an excellent dance squad, otherwise known as the student section.
And you might think there's nothing wrong with this. Dancing & choreography are good, right? Well, maybe I could excuse it if any of those in the green shirts paid attention to the game. But they didn’t.

Our 25 cheerleaders are able to make Ross-Ade stadium resonate with the sounds of "Boi-Ler-Mak-Ers." Notre Dame stadium resonated with cheering only when the Boilermaker faithful cheered as our Boilers drove 96 yards, ran back a 100 yard kickoff or connected for a 97 yard bomb from the shadows of ND’s goalpost.
After an entire game in Notre Dame Stadium, with the Notre Dame fans all around me, I have no idea what their fight song sounds like. They never sang it. I think the band played it every so often, but the ND fans were too busy complaining about the officiating, they probably never even heard it.

Maybe we're spoiled, since the officials really haven’t been an important part of a game this season…none of the games have been in doubt. But, I guess I’ve come to just understand that after a touchdown, when “Hail Purdue” is being played by The All-American Band, all those clad in gold and black just stand and belt it out…by the way, we sing a lot! But like I said, we’ve been spoiled this season.
Even the individual fans were a disappointment. The ubiquitous presence of Purdue sweatshirts confused and befuddled them. One fan sneered, "What, you don’t all just wear the exact same shirt to every game?" I guess the concept of independent thinking is too much for them to grasp. Understandable I guess, since Irish “group-think” is what they’ve become accustomed to.

As we were heading back to our car, a Notre Dame student shouted insults at us from his dorm window. At this point, someone who would talk trash, after getting their arse handed to them, didn't even surprise me.

We walked away with our heads held high. After all, we thank God we’re not ND. And we don't have to spend the rest of our college careers at Notre Dame.