Where have I been? I don't know.

It's a mystery.

Perhaps you know.

There's a new movie out... perhaps you've heard of it. It's called "Hey, let's throw out everything from the previous movie and just make up our own world again."

Movie 1: No mention of the Architect
Movie 2: The Architect is the most important being in existence
Movie 3: Who is this Architect? I think he's just an idiot

Movie 1: Neo is The One
Movie 2: Neo is the seventh The One
Movie 3: Forget what we said back there, he's really just a person, not really The One, or even the seventh The One.

Whoopee. Let's just kill everyone. Hooray.

The next Mario Kart comes out in slightly more than a week. It's looking pretty fun. I remember the hours and hours and days and years spent playing the original one, so I'm looking forward to this one.

The name's Tang.

Pootie Tang.

Is it wrong that I think Debbie Gibson and Tiffany are hot now?

You'll go off to college. You'll meet a nice girl. She'll make you dinner. She'll give you diarrhea.

I like Alias.

I like Jennifer Garner.

Jennifer Garner wants to have many of my babies.



One of the above statements could potentially be false.

You'll never know which one though.

To Justin,

Happy Birthday. I hope you like your new Vladimir Guerrero. I originally got you a Manny Ramirez, but I had to take it back because it was defective.

-Shmeorge Leinbrenner

I can't understand how one team can get so many horrible calls in its favor. Third and 3, 2 minutes left in the game, Ohio State down by 6. The pass is OBVIOUSLY dropped. It is clear as day. The ball hits the ground. The announcers both see it and NONE of the officials do. Or rather, the officials probably do see it and just don't feel like calling it. Now I understand what Joe Paterno's problem is with Big 10 officials. Penn State got jobbed.

Did anyone go outside and check out the Northern Lights? With all the massive solar flares and coronal mass ejections, I'm told they were awesome... reds and greens, with bolts of white throughout. I didn't see them myself, basically because NASA maps showed they wouldn't be visible where I am, but apparently they were. Poop.